I often find that the words we use most commonly when speaking are not necessarily the ones that you come across the most in English language text books. After a few years of teaching the lesson explaining that we say “I go to work by car, by bicycle, but on foot” that appears in Unit 4 of every elementary-level course book, it suddenly occurred to me one day that we don’t usually say any of those things: we change the verb instead: “I drive to work”, “I cycle to work”, “I walk to work”. Another example: a time expression I use all the time – which I’ve hardly ever seen in any course book - is “just now”, which means “a few seconds ago/ a few minutes ago” (I saw your friend just now: she says she’ll see you in the pub later”).
One key expression, extremely common, though not taught often enough, is “supposed to”, which has a number of uses, most of them unrelated to the meaning of the expression “I suppose..” which we use when we’re not sure about something – “I suppose that’s the manager” – or when we’re not very enthusiastic about something – “I suppose I could re-write the report” (either of these ideas can be expressed in the replies “ [Yes], I suppose so” or “[No], I suppose not.” )
Firstly, “supposed to” can be a way of expressing obligation: “You’re supposed to wash your hands before you start cooking”; “Cars are supposed to stop at this crossing.” Where “you must..” is used to order people to do things, and “you have to...” to inform them of an obligation that someone else has imposed, “you’re supposed to..” is even ‘softer’, introducing the idea that the person may choose whether to fulfil this obligation or not.
As an extension of this idea, we often use “supposed to” to talk about something we have promised to do, or are expected to do: “I’d like to come over for dinner, but I’m supposed to be going to Colin’s party” In the past tense, this usage tells us that the promise wasn’t kept “John was supposed to help me fix my car this morning [but he didn’t] .” In the same way we can express disappointment and reproach by saying “How could you do that? - You’re supposed to be my friend!”
“To be supposed to..” can also refer to something that is planned or intended: “This lotion is supposed be a headache cure” [that’s what the label says], “His train’s supposed to arrive at 8.35”; “Don’t tell anyone! It’s supposed to be a secret”. “Is that supposed to be funny?” is a good way of telling someone that you don’t share their sense of humour, and “It’s not supposed to look like that!” is a common complaint of the amateur cook on opening the oven.
Finally, “supposed to” is used to describe reputation - what we’ve been told, or led to believe, about something, “He’s supposed to be some kind of genius”, “That film’s supposed to be really good.” As in all of these examples, putting stress on the word “supposed” can give an impression of that doubt, lack of enthusiasm or scepticism that we often find in “I suppose…”
I was going to conclude by saying that “supposed to” is an indispensable expression in informal, colloquial English, as no other word or expression conveys quite the same ideas, but this is not entirely true: in all of the above cases, we can substitute the word “meant”, and the meaning is identical: “The rules say...” “You’re meant to take a number and wait” ; “I’ve promised to…” “I’m meant to babysit this evening”; “They expected me to…” “I was meant to phone Jeff”; “It’s intended to…” “It’s meant to be a surprise party”; “They say that it’s…” “It’s meant to be a lovely place for a holiday.”
I hope all this isn’t too confusing. It’s not supposed to be.
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