Today I’ve been thinking about, and getting angry about, the word issues. For a complicated series of reasons, this word – which should mean ‘topics’, ‘things to discuss’ – has started to be used in recent years as a synonym, or a type of euphemism, for the word problems. This substitution makes a sort of sense if you want to complain about something without seeming to be complaining: instead of saying “I’ve got some problems with your attitude” – itself a polite alternative to “Your attitude stinks” – you can be even more indirect and non-confrontational by saying “I’ve got some issues with your attitude” – suggesting that your friend’s rudeness and arrogance would be good starting points for a stimulating intellectual discussion, rather than a fist-fight.
Following this contemporary usage, we can describe like as a verb which presents users with “multiple issues”…
Issue 1: If you’re Italian or Spanish, you have to remember that in a sentence involving ice cream, you, and the verb like, the subject is you. It doesn’t work that way in your language, where you’ll typically say something that corresponds to “ice cream pleases me”, the subject being ice cream. Like is a verb that expresses a feeling, not a quality, so the subject has to be someone or something with feelings (well, OK, we might humanize our car and say “It doesn’t like the cold weather”, but “Ice cream likes me” could only exist as a very poor attempt to excuse your 12-Magnums-a-day habit to your dietician).
Issue 2: Once you’ve decided on the subject, you must under no circumstances forget to add the object: Like is transitive – it needs an object – so “Yes, I like.” and “I like very much.” are NOT English sentences. Whenever I teach like, I can almost hear the plaintive sighs of a hundred homeless object pronouns (her, him, it, them) longing to be allowed into the warmth of the students’ brains.
Issue 3: Maybe what you like isn’t a thing but an activity. Like is one of those verbs that attracts other verbs: they’re called catenative, which means they can link together into chains with other verbs. Here’s a chain of verbs (all but the last one are catenative): I need to try to stop enjoying going shopping. The problem (sorry, issue) with a catenative verb is knowing what form to use for the following verb: -ing form? Infinitive with to? Infinitive without to?
Well, we all know – don’t we? – that like is followed by a gerund, a verb in the –ing form: Jan likes building castles, Gordon likes tap-dancing. But maybe you’ve also heard I don’t like to complain, We like to go to the park at weekends… Why?
Well, like is one of a number of verbs that can be followed by either an –ing verb or an infinitive (with to). Try is another of these verbs: you can Try to talk or try talking. The different forms produce different meanings: “Try to talk” suggests that talking is difficult – you might say this to someone who is dying but knows where the treasure is buried; “Try talking” suggests that talking is one of a number of possible solutions to a problem: you’ve tried staring at him, hitting him and reporting him to the police; why don’t you try talking to him?
In American English I like to dance and I like dancing can be pretty much interchangeable, but in some cases there’s a subtle but clear difference between the two forms. It goes like this: I like XXXing means that XXX describes an activity that I enjoy, that gives me pleasure; I like to XXX tells people that XXX is an activity that I frequently decide or choose to do.
Obviously there will be a lot of overlap between these two forms: The things I choose to do will often be things I enjoy doing, but not always. Take the sentence I like to clean the toilet really thoroughly before my parents come to visit. Quite understandable. On the other hand, I like cleaning the toilet… would be, let’s face it, a bit weird.
Issue 4: Like is an emotion verb and, like other verbs that describe emotional/mental states, is (as you well know) not used in the continuous form. We don’t say Are you minding this?, I’m not believing it, She’s knowing what to do, They’re understanding us or I’m hating your new tie. These are all wrong.
So, why is the sentence “I’m lovin’ it!” written outside 23 million McDonalds restaurants? We might allow loving poetically, in the present perfect continuous, to describe the duration of our long-standing devotion (“I’ve been loving you too long” sang Otis Redding, and no-one complained.). But in the present continuous? To describe the hamburger we’re eating? Surely that’s wrong?
Well, I think it is, but what do I know? I think issues is wrong when it’s used to mean ‘problems’. One thing you can be sure of is that the people who write slogans for McDonalds listen very carefully to the way their (potential) customers speak, and they will have noticed that there’s a growing tendency of young English speakers to use I’m loving… instead of I love... I’ve heard it too. “I’m loving your yellow jacket!” I heard a shop assistant say to her friend yesterday. And I have friends who’ll say “I’m liking this music” in the same way. It’s not something that we would have dreamt of saying 20 years ago, and I think everyone’s aware of that: it’s a novelty, and there’s a sense of fun about it – it’s ‘incorrect’, in the way that all slang is ‘incorrect’, but deliberately so.
Any useful guide to language must be descriptive: no-one wants to be sent out into the world speaking English as it should be spoken, if no-one else actually speaks that way. With the new colloquial forms I’m liking… and I’m loving.. I would say this: avoid them for now, but let’s wait and see: maybe they’ll spread, and work their way, slowly but inexorably, into everyday speech, then popular journalism, and, ultimately, the dictionaries; then again, maybe they’ll die a swift and well-deserved death.
And maybe people will stop saying issues when they really mean problems…
Comments